Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Green mimosas i think yes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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