ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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