he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
