you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize