I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
