He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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