Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
