Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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