It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
