Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
