How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i love accidental penises.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
