we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
