I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
