I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
