What a fucking waste of an outfit
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
