Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
