butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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