just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
