I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
