best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
