When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
