we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
