Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
