two words: eviction party
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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