I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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