dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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