quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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