I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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