remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
