i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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