dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
