There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
