I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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