it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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