so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
