i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
