she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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