Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
