Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
