you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
