Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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