But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
