Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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