Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize