Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
