I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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