My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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