yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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