fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize