please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
