did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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