It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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