Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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