i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
