Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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