Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
