We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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