What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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