Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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