I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
only if we run a train.
done.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
