WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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