You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize