i just made my gag reflex go away.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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