i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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