I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All the doctor said was why
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
