This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
